This is by far the earliest I've had to wake up in months!
Although, I'd rather be on this schedule rather than the shitty one I'm in at the moment..
since I've been TRYING desperately to loose weight and tone up for spring/my bday (:
Which I am sad about due to the fact that I've gained a few lbs. of unwanted weight! BOOOO!
Looks like running every other day at the park and the scenic route [;
I'll have Twin & Geo to guide so I should be good! Hahahah <3
December 31, 2008
December 28, 2008
Stronger
Just felt like sharing a portion of what my state of mind was last year through this poetry I had written. It was basically about my most recent ex and how emotionally vulnerable I was every time his presence would enter my life and in my mind due to the fact there was quite a lot of sequential events that were and had been happening during our times "together". Even though there was some good things in him and in our relationship, most of it was absolutely draining to me and on my heart for the simple fact of what kind of person he was and what he believed in his own mind.
But as I got to reading it, the tone changed into a more spoken word type of vibe, once you do read it out loud. I'm proud of it though since my strike of not being inspired in writing, designing, creating, plain being artsy came to a halt. Therefore, having emotions do help oneself to be lyrically inspired..like you didn't already know that, right?! >;D Although I'm not saying it's like one of the greatest, it's mine. And you can definitely tell what state of mind I was in with the words I've chosen, hahaha. Enough blabbering! Enjoy (:
The crimes he committed for her to cry,
but he made her smile, made her high.
Made her feel like she was floating on cloud nine.
Got distracted, too busy by infatuation to surpass by all his lies.
Other girls, in different worlds, catered to his needs,
Did the same shit to his official girl..
which made her, trying to fight off them bitches off of greed.
1 time, shame on him,
2 times, shame on hers,
If a 3rd time, an idiot she will be, less classy,
flirting with fellas, getting more easy, now looking all trashy.
Single... was he?
The talks made her realized there was never even a "WE".
Before she talking "me&him", this and that, it's "us" against everybody..
he knew he couldn't get focused though because of every girl's sexy body.
"The way she looks, the way she moves & the click of her heels".. he says.
"What do you want, how do you feel, she appeal to you?".. she begs.
Fighting feelings she is, hella confused as fuck,
He saying "Damn, I don't wanna rush you"
then she's just all like "Damn, I guess my ass is out of luck".
He don't feel bad though.,
it's never happened to him before.
He's there saying "I don't wanna hurt you,
& I don't wanna be responsible for that no more."
Replied thinking, "There he goes again with his damn excuses",
too hard headed to listen & now, she can't even get focused!
Took less than a day to reevaluate the situation,
went back to each other, discussed it the 2nd time,
getting to the point of his stupid ass crime..
Ending up ending his & hers' almost halfway recreation relation....
Ship, hers, already getting ready to leave his dock,
Because she realizes his time was up,
must've been a daylight's savings one,
she..remembering to update her clock by the hour,
making sure her ass don't get associated with those type of cowards.
Playa playa playa, of a trick of a trick of a trick,
you can't get with my ass no more because you'll just make me sick.
There was obviously too many females,
writing them too many emails,
but barely not too many "I'm showing you I care", making "us".. fail.
Don't get her wrong though,
they've gone back since their early teens,
where he was shy & where she was doing clean preteen trends.
having fun together ever since,
but both still wanting to be good friends.
The fact of the matter of is,
"them", "us", "him&her" & "we" had too much history.
Together phrases didn't work for them, nobody praised them,
which caused the love story chapter to be done da da history.
She gained another life/love lesson learned.
Him? still waiting for respect to be earned.
Damn right she'll sleep on dry pillows from now on,
Still holding on for the truth of a man while singing her song.
Clutching her heart close to her, never letting it get broken.
Only bruised but it always recovers, from her heart, it poured out, sorrow has spoken.
*All in all, it happened and it's been long ago ended but I don't ever regret it. I can never regret anything that made me learn and made me grow more into the woman I am today and God knows I've grown in the past 5yrs. And from experience, there is never a relationship that's the same and if you can't fully jump into a relationship whole heartedly with arms wide open and be sane with your mind and soul being %100, then it isn't fair for the both of you. A relationship deserves it's full and undivided trust, honesty, compromise and attention so if there's even a fraction of any of those missing, then the relationship is doomed to fail and it makes you second guess and think what kind of person you are.. .
But as I got to reading it, the tone changed into a more spoken word type of vibe, once you do read it out loud. I'm proud of it though since my strike of not being inspired in writing, designing, creating, plain being artsy came to a halt. Therefore, having emotions do help oneself to be lyrically inspired..like you didn't already know that, right?! >;D Although I'm not saying it's like one of the greatest, it's mine. And you can definitely tell what state of mind I was in with the words I've chosen, hahaha. Enough blabbering! Enjoy (:
The crimes he committed for her to cry,
but he made her smile, made her high.
Made her feel like she was floating on cloud nine.
Got distracted, too busy by infatuation to surpass by all his lies.
Other girls, in different worlds, catered to his needs,
Did the same shit to his official girl..
which made her, trying to fight off them bitches off of greed.
1 time, shame on him,
2 times, shame on hers,
If a 3rd time, an idiot she will be, less classy,
flirting with fellas, getting more easy, now looking all trashy.
Single... was he?
The talks made her realized there was never even a "WE".
Before she talking "me&him", this and that, it's "us" against everybody..
he knew he couldn't get focused though because of every girl's sexy body.
"The way she looks, the way she moves & the click of her heels".. he says.
"What do you want, how do you feel, she appeal to you?".. she begs.
Fighting feelings she is, hella confused as fuck,
He saying "Damn, I don't wanna rush you"
then she's just all like "Damn, I guess my ass is out of luck".
He don't feel bad though.,
it's never happened to him before.
He's there saying "I don't wanna hurt you,
& I don't wanna be responsible for that no more."
Replied thinking, "There he goes again with his damn excuses",
too hard headed to listen & now, she can't even get focused!
Took less than a day to reevaluate the situation,
went back to each other, discussed it the 2nd time,
getting to the point of his stupid ass crime..
Ending up ending his & hers' almost halfway recreation relation....
Ship, hers, already getting ready to leave his dock,
Because she realizes his time was up,
must've been a daylight's savings one,
she..remembering to update her clock by the hour,
making sure her ass don't get associated with those type of cowards.
Playa playa playa, of a trick of a trick of a trick,
you can't get with my ass no more because you'll just make me sick.
There was obviously too many females,
writing them too many emails,
but barely not too many "I'm showing you I care", making "us".. fail.
Don't get her wrong though,
they've gone back since their early teens,
where he was shy & where she was doing clean preteen trends.
having fun together ever since,
but both still wanting to be good friends.
The fact of the matter of is,
"them", "us", "him&her" & "we" had too much history.
Together phrases didn't work for them, nobody praised them,
which caused the love story chapter to be done da da history.
She gained another life/love lesson learned.
Him? still waiting for respect to be earned.
Damn right she'll sleep on dry pillows from now on,
Still holding on for the truth of a man while singing her song.
Clutching her heart close to her, never letting it get broken.
Only bruised but it always recovers, from her heart, it poured out, sorrow has spoken.
*All in all, it happened and it's been long ago ended but I don't ever regret it. I can never regret anything that made me learn and made me grow more into the woman I am today and God knows I've grown in the past 5yrs. And from experience, there is never a relationship that's the same and if you can't fully jump into a relationship whole heartedly with arms wide open and be sane with your mind and soul being %100, then it isn't fair for the both of you. A relationship deserves it's full and undivided trust, honesty, compromise and attention so if there's even a fraction of any of those missing, then the relationship is doomed to fail and it makes you second guess and think what kind of person you are.. .
I did it.....
I made a new blog, yes indeed (:
From everything that's been happening in my life,
I thought this was the best outlet to express my worsts, bests, thoughts and neutrals.
.... .Now this time, I hope to maintain it for years to come.
& for it not to be just another phase for me to conquer and forget about.
So until next time, seeeeeeee ya!
From everything that's been happening in my life,
I thought this was the best outlet to express my worsts, bests, thoughts and neutrals.
.... .Now this time, I hope to maintain it for years to come.
& for it not to be just another phase for me to conquer and forget about.
So until next time, seeeeeeee ya!
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